Listen To My Confession For You
by Maxwell Lily
Summary: A collection of ficlets for the Moon Lovers: Scarlet Heart Ryeo 1st Anniversary Appreciation Week @ tumblr. Day 8: "When You Knew."
1. For You

**Day 1:** A Poem.

* * *

 _Who would you be?_

He hums in the sound of afternoon grass scraping against his hair, in the white of his shirt, on his place by her side. He is the sun, a dream in a second, in a glimpse, in a being.

 _I'd be a warrior for what is right,_  
 _I'd strip the powerful of their power,_  
 _the riches from the rich,_  
 _the whip from the slaves' backs._

 _I'd be the great black moon that covers the sun,_  
 _and all those who came before me_  
 _and all those that came after me_  
 _would be eclipsed_  
 _by my all efforts and deeds_

 _I'd be king._

His chest is full of promises, full of hope, and he turns them all to her, gives them all to her in the hand that reaches for hers, that invites her for the dance, come, come play with me, who would _you_ be?

Her voice is melody, a gift.

 _I would be the right,_  
 _the driving force in your sword,_  
 _the courage in your veins,_  
 _the fearlessness in your eyes._

 _I'd be the guiding stars in your night,_  
 _the witness, the fountain,_  
 _for everything you ever were_  
 _or would ever be,_  
 _would originally be mine._

 _I'd be home._

Her arm is her pillow when she faces him, and on the bed of grass and the laughter of children that surrounds them, they're mirrors, ancient mirrors reflecting each other, drinking from an old story and making their own.

They're their own. Only teenagers, only young, but their spirits are old, made from the same stardust, from the same rain, from the stallion amongst the gods.

 _Why?,_ he asks, knowing her thoughts before she thinks them, glances shared from distant corners of a classroom.

 _If we exist in each other's spaces,_ _  
_ _who could ever set us apart?_

He kisses her to make a point, to close the gaps in-between, so they can exist.

So they can exist.

 _The solar eclipse hides them from the world_ _  
_ _and they are eternal._


	2. Say Yes

**Day 2:** A Parallel.

* * *

At the bottom of the river, she's Schrödinger's cat, alive and dead, breathless in black water, a burial for Go Ha Jin. _I'm okay, mother_ , she said for months, _I'm really okay_ ,but the pull was as uncontrollable as her will, _I can't leave you alone, I can't._

The eclipse can't even be seen, it's nothing like the first time, nothing is on her side, yet she jumps, leaps, falls, flies with her arms wide open and a burning in her chest. She prays to the moon that stole the sun, prays to the moon deity, _let me steal him, too, give him back to me_. She cannot see or hear anything but her own chanting in her head and she's dead, it's over, it has been over for a millennia but she had failed to understand, hadn't she? Things always had to go her way, her mother used to say, she would never yield, her daughter. Go Ha Jin would never surrender.

Never.

Hae Soo emerges from the water, startled, out of breath, like she's taken a bullet to the chest _._ She must be dying, not from drowning but from a heart attack, from heartache, but no, it's just the whole course of time punishing her for her foolishness, not enough to kill but just enough to bruise. It sends the message that this is the last time, any other time and we'll come for you, no more chances, no more rise for Go Ha Jin. The moon shines with the sun's light, from its shadowed face at day to its aggressive self at night, and who was she to steal that, to usurp that miracle?

She lives. She breathes.

He stares at her like he sees the dead.

She's aware that she's trembling, all over, from the inside out, from every cell that makes her Hae Soo. She's Hae Soo. She was always meant to be Hae Soo, she made Soo herself, from the scraps of a broken Go Ha Jin, puzzle pieces of stubbornness and optimism and love. Oh, love. He stares at her with a bared face and a bared soul and she knows it's the first time, somewhere behind him lies the butterfly of his rejection from a mother who'd rather see him dead. Unborn. Unmade.

She takes a step forward and he can't even react. This girl who showed up out of nowhere, this concept he cannot comprehend, where, how, what, _who are you?_ He instinctively places a hand over his scar but Soo takes hold of it, with all the strength of her little body she pulls it down to look. She knows he could kill her if he wanted to, she knows so many things about him and it's not enough, so she takes a step forward. She wants to wake up every day by his side and discover a new side of him. She wants to know every scar so deeply she could kiss a trail of them with her eyes closed. She wants.

She breathes on his face and he's shaking too, she sees it in his eyes, her mouth is agape in wonder and she loves him so much he could kill her right there and it'd have been worth it.

"You're as beautiful as I remember," she whispers, her words clinging to the steam around them, penetrating his pores, and right then he looks so much younger, she feels immortal in his youth, in his fragile innocence. "I've missed you."

As though she steals oxygen with her words he retreats, leaves behind the hairpin like Cinderella with her slipper, and Hae Soo smiles, delights in the repetition. She takes all the scolding her beloved Myung Hee gives her, her petite arms wrapping tightly around her beautiful mother to scare death away. _Go, go away, come back another day._ Like it's rain.

"Hae Soo," he calls next day, his face stern but clouded with confusion. She smiles so widely he must think her crazy and she knows she is. Time is so destabilized that she showed up days after the first time, but he knows her name so her mark is still in the past. She still has a mark on him. "What… Who are you? What are you trying to pull?"

With her face in both her hands she beams up at him, the flowers and the braids in her hair inviting him for a whole new beginning.

"I dreamed of you. Didn't you dream of me?"

He scoffs but under the layer of incredulity lies a question.

 _Should I?_

 _You will._


	3. I'm ready for love

**Day 3:** A Song for Wang So.

* * *

She can hear him through the walls of her apartment. Sometimes she'll hear him hum just before her head hits the pillow and she knows he just got home from work, lets his melody lull her to sleep. It used to make her sigh, to make her a little annoyed, until the day she ungracefully, drunkenly, accidentally fell on him, her limbs caught by his, and suddenly she saw the landscape of his eyes. There's a golden ring around the pupil, speckles of a kind fire that she also felt on her skin. Maybe he was just blushing, embarrassed, or maybe _she_ was. She barely remembers letting go, barely remembers reaching her bed, she's sure he must have awkwardly carried her through the whole thing and she would feel embarrassed if his eyes hadn't been so mesmerizing, or if she could forget the elegant curve of his nose, the shape of his mouth. She hasn't gotten drunk since and it's a blessing because now he always waves and smiles when he sees her and she can be on her best behavior, she can laugh at off-hand jokes while both search for their keys.

She's been trying to come up with a way to invite him for something, anything, but their schedules either don't match or she's too tired to try. Most days she's just content with humming along with him, filling in the lyrics while she hangs her laundry to dry, gleefully asking the plants in her balcony if they like his songs too. She learns that he doesn't actually sing all the time when he's home like she thought at the beginning, and every time is a surprise, a gift, her heart pounding against her ears with his voice. _You really need to ask him out_ , her best friend would say, tired of her never-ending lovesickness. Hae Soo either never fell in love or dreamed about kisses on the back of her hand, blushing lips warming her up from her extremities to her core; there was no in-between.

When she rushes to her laundry on an innocent rainy day, she doesn't expect to see him or to like him more, but it happens. Strokes of rain brush against her dress, her hair slowly clinging to her skin as she watches him stand in his balcony, catching the rain in the shell of his hands, his own little river that he sings into, _Singing' in the Rain._ He's a cliché in soaked white clothes, almost a spirit of rain itself, of the summer downpour. He stops when he notices her, lets his hands fall to his sides and she half-expects him to shy away but he just says hello. "What are you doing?" She asks in laughter, she didn't know she was smiling.

"Enjoying the rain. Isn't it nice? You should try it!"

The view from the balcony is full of blurry apartment windows, but when she places her hands on the railing, she notices it's still warm from the sun. There are rays of light peeking through the clouds, through the raindrops, and she closes her eyes to her mental image of a perfect rainbow, stretching wide in the sky, colorful and bright. Hae Soo breathes in the rain and more laughter bubbles out of her. When she opens her eyes and turns to look at him, he's watching her, and he can only hold her gaze for a few infinite seconds before he smiles back at the rain and walks back inside his apartment.

She's sneezing the next morning. Way to be that guy who gets a cold during summer, she jokes with herself, and she takes it lightly until her brain starts pounding hard against her skull or something akin to it. She coughs when she gets home, and she coughs the evening away. When the knocks come to her door, she's surprised to see it's already past one in the morning.

He's holding a pan and she's terribly confused.

"It's porridge. For you."

She doesn't reach out to grab it, too numb and shaken, and she doesn't know if she's really blushing that much or if her fever is at its peak, so she only takes a step aside and he takes the hint to walk inside.

"I feel like I'm responsible so this is a peace offering so you don't get mad at me."

There is a possibility that she's still in her bed and it's another one of her dreams, so she only blurts out, "You can cook."

He's a single man living alone and that's the best thing she could come up with. His lips curl in an amused, lopsided smile.

"Yes. It's kind of my job."

"Oh."

She thinks it's amazing and that it explains all the black clothes. She wishes she had a cool job to present him, and she attempts in her best cheerful, nasal voice, "I sell clothes at the mall." She deflates quickly at that, but he only places a bowl before her, leaning forward to hear her talk.

"Do you meet many different people?"

She nods, taking a spoonful of the porridge. She means to tell him she sees a hundred different people every day and that it's a bit interesting but the taste of the porridge – she can taste it! – is better than she expected and she can only hum and look at him with wide, impressed eyes.

"You like it?"

She nods, eating away happily the way she hasn't eaten all day.

"You should come to my restaurant when you're feeling better. I'll make something special for you."

She kicks her feet back and forth, cute feet that never touched the ground when she sat up straight.

"Deal."

He washes her dishes for her, humming away, and Soo swings her head in rhythm, too happy to be mad about being sick. He gives her his number so they can decide on the date but the first thing she sends him the next morning, still a bit hazy from the cold, but lucid enough to giggle about it, is,

 _Wang So, I'm happy again_ _ヾ_ _（_ _〃_ _＾∇＾）_ _ﾉ_

He knocks on her door again that night, to check on her, he says, but they talk for so long, about so many trivial things, Soo almost wishes she'd never get better.

She does, and he still meets her. She wears her cutest heels to his somber restaurant and she can see that he likes it, that he likes her.

When he kisses her for the first time, there's a smile on his lips, a note just for her, and his fingers touch her back delicately, playing her a tune on piano's keys. With a scarf she chose for him around his neck, he says her voice is his favorite sound in the world. Hae Soo thinks it's the funniest thing, but not the silliest thing he's ever said.


	4. Be With You

**Day 4:** A Song for Hae Soo.

* * *

Surely time must be playing a trick on her. Every time she looks at her wristwatch, only a minute has passed. It has to be a mistake. She's positive that she's been waiting for him at the café for at least half an hour, but her watch insists on saying it's only been ten minutes. Hae Soo pouts, sips her coffee, and effectively burns her tongue.

He arrives while she's still nursing herself; the tip of her tongue is out of her mouth when he enters her line of vision, breathless chuckles coming out of him as he recovers from his little run to her table.

Allowing her eyes to take him in, Soo discovers that he's everything she expected him to be and better. She's already familiar with many sides of his profile from pictures, but the way his eyes turn small and shiny when he smiles is new. She had been too shy for video chats but he knew her every word, her every worry and fear, words spilled in the dead of night, voice messages left at brave moments during a bath, her voice echoing inside the bathroom walls, breaking in giggles half-way through a song. He had been her confidante and they had only met by chance, through the friend of a friend, connected by favorite books and songs and a love for historical dramas. She was studying to be a nurse; he was a civil servant with the entire world as a dream, all the stories it could tell. Soo had always frowned upon online dating, had always dreamed of bumping into someone and discovering her love in scattered papers on the sidewalk, _Oh I love that book too!,_ a moment where all her worries and timetables would be forgotten and they'd walk together to the nearest café. But what was the difference? Didn't distance make her bold enough to talk about herself? Didn't the pictures on his Instagram show her that he did watch her favorite summer movie at the same weekend she did because he had been waiting a long time for it? And weren't they sitting together in a café right at that moment?

Her thoughts spiral out of control as he sits down, expectations clashing with wishful thinking and crashing with his eager eyes, eyes that beg her to say anything, but she keeps remembering things she had said to him that she had never said to anyone and every word makes her small, a shrinking violet.

"Soo," he says. The timber of his voice touch her with the familiarity of a hundred phone calls.

She looks up at him, really looks up at him. He has kind eyebrows raised, waiting, and a brush of red on his cheeks that makes him look away, look down, then look back at her. Soo realizes that he looks just like the friendly guy she met a year ago, someone who listened after her aunt passed away, who calmed her down when her cat when missing, who talked about the real history behind a drama with the enthusiasm of a teenage girl ranting about her idol. She tucks her hair behind her ears and rests her chin on her palms and both laugh. The song playing in the background is one they both like.

"Are you ready to show me everything around here?" He asks and she nods through the butterflies dancing in her stomach, not at all ready to be a tour guide, not at all sure that she could be interesting enough to keep his attention. As their feet bring them away from the café, she feels her carefully planned daydreams falling out of her grasp, but Soo marches on. She owes him that much; she owes herself that much.

They walk with their arms brushing close together, visiting an antiques shop, stopping by street vendors, eating ice cream. Soo tells him a story about beating up a boy in a park and every laughter, every teasing eases the knot inside of her, brings color to her eyes. She feels his hand touch hers more than once, and when they arrive at the beach, she can't tell for how long he has been holding her hand.

"How long are you staying?" She asks, her shoes in her free hand, seafoam at her feet. He has thin legs and a hundred different mannerisms and details that cameras couldn't properly convey, like the smell of his aftershave and the cute mole on his cheek that she couldn't seem to look away from.

"How long do you want me to stay?" He asks back. With an intake of breath, Soo kicks water at him, dropping his hand when he lets out a startled yelp, both leaving footprints on the sand, on the sea, the wind carrying them as they run after each other.

The house he's staying at has been in his family for generations, and the regal sight of it makes Soo think it's not surprising that he loves historical things so much. She watches the warm lavender color of dusk from his porch, her little feet dancing back and forth before she lies on the wooden floor, waiting for him with her eyes closed, waiting for him to take her away from the life she knew, from her city, if he could. From everything. Maybe they could meet the world.

"Are you tired?"

She rolls on her back and she's staring up at him, trapped between his arms. His hair, longer than she's seen men of his age use, falls towards her, gravity pulling him to her, and she doesn't know why it makes her giggle but it does. She's had very little alcohol so maybe it's something else that intoxicates her, maybe it's the routine she's thrown out the window, maybe it's his presence that she has craved for so long and their shared knowledge that they like each other a lot, but spent the entire day acting as if they didn't.

He moves so she can lay her head on his lap and she thinks their positions are flipped, but when he starts petting her hair, his long fingers caressing her temples, her scalp, running through the short length of her hair, she doesn't care.

"So," she says, just to say it, just to call him. He leans close to her and tells her a story about his childhood in that very house, about his brothers, about being scolded and running from one room to the next, all through the porch they're in and all through her yard, his voice low against her cheek. When the story ends, he goes silent and it makes her look up at him.

"You haven't been saying much," he says.

He leans back on his hands as if to give her space, as if to give her a chance to walk away.

"I like hearing you talk. I'm the one who usually talks in our conversations."

So looks at the night sky that slowly covers them in darkness, and Soo looks at the shadows cast on his face. She touches the back of her hand against his chest, grown fond of contact with him, it's been so long since she was so close to anyone. He takes her hand in his, his eyes blinkling slowly, and he asks,

"Sing for me?"

Soo closes her eyes, her heart traveling the distance between them, and what has once been miles upon miles is only centimeters away, it's impossibly close, his presence cast upon her.

 _Tonight, I'll send the glow of a firefly  
to somewhere near your window  
It's that I love you_

Every verse shakes her voice with emotions, with longing and care, but it's okay, it's okay because he saves her from herself, he saves her with a kiss and a promise. every movement of his mouth against her is a vow, that the distance between them will never be farther than a kiss. _I will stay,_ it says.

 _I will stay._


	5. Because I am by your side, I dream

**Day 5:** A Happy Moment.

* * *

She's dreaming of home; an indistinctive place where her mother brings her groceries and Wang So walks towards her in the blue robes he wore the day they were supposed to be engaged. Engaged? A betrothed, an arrangement, the formality of a promise long made. He stands next to her potted flowers on the living room windowsill, the fine embroidery at her eyelevel shimmering in the pale glow of sunlight, shy sunlight shining through her curtains. She's dressed in her Sunday clothes, loose shirt and short shorts, her hair in a messy bun, but his eyes are sharp with fondness, an adoration that turns her into a princess, into a fairy, into all the things she wasn't. She touches his cheek, brushes the make-up off his scar, and in her living room she kisses him, past and present merging like a black and white silent film and a bright romance that fills her eyes with tears. She feels like she's falling, the floor disappearing from her feet, but his touch steels her, stirs her awake.

She takes in the real Wang So, still living the dream, still inserting him in all her fondest memories, memories of times she hasn't seen for years, of a place she misses despite herself. His smile is real. She could never truly replicate it, not when it grows in love each time he presents it to her, gifts it to her, worth more than a thousand flowers her ex had given her. Yes, it's her So. She's in Goryeo, she's Hae Soo. She could have felt disappointment, she could have felt despair and the crippling ache that roused her in many nights, all the nights he was away. What was the point if he was not there? Why would she have stayed? What other source of happiness was there when all her friends were either fighting each other or dead?

She doesn't feel any of that.

He touches her face with tenderness, this hand that holds a sword so firmly, that kills so swiftly, it touches her like she's a butterfly, like she might fly away. She scoots closer, closer, closer, her nose tickling his Adam's apple, her eyelashes fluttering against his skin. She kisses his neck, once, twice, would have kissed for each day that he spent away, for each time she thought of him, for every season, for every dream. She kisses his jaw, settling herself on the present, on his present. She kisses his lips with a wish, the wish to take him away from it all, from arrows, from thrones, away from everything but her. Would he like her present? Would he like the illusion of freedom in her Seoul, where you could be anything you wanted as long as it paid the bills?

She rolls on her back in the natural progression of their kiss, a kiss of old lovers, of old desire. His eyes are dark but they appear to shine in the dim light, the wolf that would always live within him, the wolf that was heaven-bound to her. She's careful with his arm, wouldn't do anything to hurt him, just like he was so gentle, so caring, so contrasting with everything he always appeared to be. He looks like he wants to devour her but it's her hand that grips his robes tightly, that leads him down, her nails that scrape against the scars on his back. She must be the first woman he's ever taken but he's taken back by her, there's still astonishment left in him for her, but he knows she's only ever been his, he trusts. By the gods, he's only ever been devoted to her and she'd want nothing more than to walk hand in hand with him for everyone to see that's he's grand, that he's more, that's he's hers. Travel with me, she thinks while she cradles his head her arms, his erratic breath on her skin. Escape with me.

The day clicks away slowly, in moments, her hands feeding him, nursing him, caressing him. They forget who they are and they just live, they just love, count the stars in the sky. She laughs against his shoulder, her fingers intertwined with his, and happiness is a tangible thing. For one day, it's real. It's now. It's them.

Choi Ji Mong arrives and brings reality with him, the court following his every step. For the duration of their conversation, she fights her eyes up from the ground, from the road they could have taken. They had almost made it.

He tells her he wants to be king. With those eyes full of trust, full of sincerity. She wants to say no, she wants to destroy the past, but she can't. She doesn't know what it would do to him, or Baek Ah, or Jung, and their safety is worth it, every sacrifice.

She smiles back because she wants to trust, too. In the future, in her hands. She touches the scar on his face, the one she's kissed probably a dozen times that day.

Happiness is a tangible thing.


	6. All With You

**Day 6:** Underrated.

* * *

" _You don't understand!"_

"You had a fight with Soo, didn't you?"

Wang So rolls on the school bench, trying to will his best friend away, but Baek Ah, unable to hear his thoughts and effectively ignoring his tantrum, sits on the arm rest to look at him.

"I'm going to take that as a yes. What happened?"

"She lost something. I don't know why I'm the one who needs to get yelled at."

Baek Ah arches a perfectly shaped eyebrow, knowing Soo is not one to lash out.

"Well, what did she lose?"

"A stupid bookmark."

"Ah, I see what the problem is."

So doesn't. He's replayed their argument several times in his head but each time Soo overreacts. She has an infinite supply of bookmarks, he's given her some, she always gets a new one when she goes to the bookstore, she has one for each book on her shelf. However, at the end of each replay, Soo always yells at him and storms off the classroom, and try as he might, he's still at a loss.

"Just because something seems unimportant to you, doesn't mean it's not important to her. If you don't hold her opinion in your esteem, then I don't see why you'd start dating."

So opens his eyes, glares at the weeds within his line of vision.

"I value her opinion."

"Then go and help her find the stupid bookmark, Wang So."

He pulls himself off the bench and walks away without even sparing a glance at Baek Ah, his mind full of thoughts of her. He doesn't know where to begin, but it's only because there are so many places he could look, each one with her invisible footprints, the sight of her long, swaying hair guiding him along, even if she's only in his mind.

There's the library, the corner for historical romances where she'd sit on the ground during her free periods. In the roof they sneak in during lunchtime, he searches under old buckets, broken chairs, and every corner of the fence. He asks the manager of her favorite café if they ever found anything, if he can look around her favorite spot by the window, where her bright, round eyes like to take in the passersby, making up stories for them, telling him each and every one over a cup of tea. He wants to search the surroundings of her house but what use would it be for her to see him, a hurt expression still frozen on her face, if he didn't have the answer she was looking for?

It's already night when he goes to the lake, sitting under her favorite tree, the bench where they first met just a glance away, over his shoulder. Wang So has known Hae Soo for three years, all of his high school life, and in his young mind, it's the same as an entire lifetime. Before her, there was only a private school and badly lit hallways and drills and dormitories full of unfriendly rich boys. When he was set to move in with his mother, the only prospect for his future was peace, walking to school all the way from home, enjoying a freedom his father's manor would never have. Living with his mother meant punctuality, checking his progress in schoolwork, keeping his own room clean and aiming for college. But it was also meals prepared with her own hands, dishes he liked instead of fancy meals, and her warm hand on his forehead when he was sick.

He leans against the tree, looking over at the bench, and he can almost see Hae Soo hovering over his form, the sound of her stifled giggles rousing him from his nap, her smile the welcoming arms to a new city. She takes a flower that was caught in his hair, saying it didn't really match his style, and he asks why not, what if he liked flowers? Another one falls from the tree, right on Soo's open palm, the spring breeze filling his ears with the sound of leaves, Soo's flowery dress dancing around her calves. Then let's keep one each, she says, their first promise, their first compromise. When he meets her in class the next day, her recognition is brighter than sunshine, and he thinks, I might like it here, after all.

His hands move around the ground in his reminiscences, touching an anomaly, discovering an opening on the tree's trunk. He reaches for his phone and illuminates the area, and the light makes something shine. He reaches inside and pulls out her bookmark; a pressed white flower, suspended in time by a careful plastic protection. He turns it in his hand, over and over again. Looking up, there are no white flowers to be seen, too far from the season, but he knows they're there, waiting for spring, blossoming with the admiration of Soo's love.

A few days later, he captures her hand after class, almost dragging her away, but not walking fast enough to cause her discomfort. Soo follows him, no dance in her steps, no music in her voice, just tagging along with him, dejected and crushed, the world a little monochromatic in her eyes. He stops by their bench and sits her down, gently, but doesn't let go of her hand. He reaches in his pocket and returns her bookmark.

Color returns to her at once, a flashlight turned on in darkness.

"You found it?!"

"It was right by that tree. I think you meant to keep it safe but forgot about it."

Soo presses the flower to her chest as he sits down beside her.

"Thank you, So. I looked everywhere."

He watches her touch the edges of the bookmark before he asks,

"Why is it so important to you?"

She kicks her feet back and forth, her eyes turning to half-moons just for him.

"I promised you I'd keep it. I could never get one just like it ever again."

So turns his gaze to the water, the mirror that reflects the sepia-colored afternoon. Soo laces her fingers with his and he closes his hand around hers, in case she thinks of letting go again.

"Is it silly?"

She rests her head on his shoulder and all the strain of their fight melts away in the air, in the wind. So crosses his legs and looks for the answer in the water.

"It's not. You like keeping memories, storing them safely. I just... I see you everywhere I look, so how could I forget a single thing?"

He can feel her eyes on him when she moves to rest her chin against his shoulder instead, her free hand moving to tuck his bangs behind his ear. She whispers his name in the confidentiality of their proximity and it makes him flush with the truth of her feelings for him. From the very start, from the first sight of her, framed against the green leaves that surrounded him, he never stood a chance. He could never look away, see or hear anything else. She studied with him, listened to words, read over his shoulder, sneaking her way into his heart, and every day he woke up with a new thought to share with her, things she'd like, places they should see. Friendship blossomed into love like a flower that only opened up to the moonlight.

He reaches inside his pocket and gives it to her; something new, like she loved. Something to keep.

Hae Soo turns the resin ring in her hand, holding it against the light. All the flowers kept inside have her favorite colors, yellow and pink and lilac and white, tiny and delicate, just like her hands. It fits her index finger because he had no idea what her size would be, but it fits. She stares at it with her mouth slightly open, the pastel color of her nail polish matching the flowers perfectly.

"It'll be harder to lose this one."

He doesn't expect the peck on his lips, her lip-gloss sticking to him, the taste of it making his heart lose its usual compass. When he places his fingers on his lips, looking away, blinking rapidly, Soo's giggles course through him like they're his own.

"You do understand."

He doesn't think so. Because every time he thinks he understands, that he knows all, she does something that robs him of his breath. So what could he do?

He kisses her again, their clasped hands held against his heart.

She tastes of first love, of flowers and spring.


	7. Words that my eyes tell you

**Day 7:** An Exchange of Looks.

* * *

 _I'm going to kill you, Kim Baek Ah._

He won't stand up no matter what she does. He toasts with the person in front of him, downs another shot, and Hae Soo whimpers with her hands on his shoulders. He's several doses past his limit and she doesn't know if anyone else would be responsible enough to take him home; the company is too big and although she's worked there for a little over two years, she knows very few people.

Soo looks around to see if anyone is looking at them, if she can ask for help, but her co-workers from the Design Department are either equally wasted or absent and she doesn't know who to call.

She locks eyes with a man across the room, dark hair falling gracefully sideways, almost covering his left eye. She must look desperate because he raises his eyebrows at her, but her relief quickly evaporates as a smirk adorns his lips before he takes his own shot.

 _Is he mocking me?_

She turns back to Baek Ah, calls his name, shakes him, asks for several dozen divinities to get him to stand up so she can call them a cab and finally go home and rest. The only response she gets is the man from afar who's suddenly next to them and putting Baek Ah's arm around his shoulders.

"Come on, Baek Ah, it's time to go," he says and Soo stands along with them, bowing to a few people, saying her goodbyes.

"So! Long time no talk!" Baek Ah slurs, touching his index finger to the man's – So's – cheek, causing him to chuckle.

"Yes, indeed. Let's catch up some time when you're not drunk, shall we?"

"I'm not drunk!" Baek Ah declares, rooting himself to a spot, standing with his back straight, and then promptly letting his weight fall against So again. Soo touches So's arm, tries to prevent him from falling, and he smiles at her in gratitude. He has a pretty smile.

"I-I'll call us a cab–" She's saying, but So shakes his head.

"I've already called a designated driver for myself, I'll give you a ride."

"Oh!" Soo blushes and curses the alcohol in her veins for it. "No, it's all right! Baek Ah and I live in the same building so it's not going to be expensive for me or anything!"

"Even easier for me. Let's go."

She bites her lip before she follows him, already dreading the uncomfortable silence all the way to her door.

* * *

"Who was he?"

Baek Ah looks at her with one blank eye, the other closed in headache.

"Who?"

"Long-ish black hair, narrow, penetrating eyes, you called him–"

"So. Wang So."

Despite his hangover, he has the grace to give her a knowing smile.

"Oh, you met So, the head of the PR Department, didn't you? Finally?"

"What do you mean _finally_?"

He's about to answer when the head of their own department walks in, Soo quickly turning to focus on her monitor and work.

* * *

On that same week, Soo is late for the first time since she joined the company. She rushes inside the building but the elevator doors are already closing and she only has time to glimpse those narrow eyes before he's gone.

Her body has exactly one second to wilt with a sigh before the doors open again,and when she looks up, he's smiling, his hand withdrawing from the floors panel.

"Fourth floor, is it?" He asks and she nods, hopping inside the elevator with no elegance. She regrets it immediately with a grimace.

"I'm Hae Soo," she says, turning to look at him but quickly looking forward again. "I figured I'd tell you since you've helped me twice already."

"Hae Soo," he repeats, as if testing the name, tasting it. She looks at him out the corner of her eye and he's definitely looking at her. "I've barely done anything, Hae Soo. Just helping out a fellow co-worker."

The elevator stops at her floor and she jumps out. She turns around just in time to see him waving at her. She doesn't get to wave back.

* * *

She has her cheeks full of food when he sits down in front of her with his own tray for lunch. She blinks once, twice, several times real fast, and he only tilts his head to the side.

"Is this seat taken?"

But he's already sitting down? Soo shakes her head and he picks up his chopsticks.

"You work for the Design Department, right?" She nods. "Which work is yours?"

"I usually work with cosmetics companies…" Her voice is small but she can't help smiling.

"Ah! Is that why so many cosmetics companies seek us?"

Is he teasing her? Again? There isn't a trace of mockery in him, not in his words or in the way he leans forward in her direction. She tells him a bit of what she's working on and he listens attentively, until both their trays are empty, until his phone rings and he has to excuse himself with an honestly sorry expression.

Soo dares to let her heart beat faster.

* * *

"Okay, what do you _know_?"

Baek Ah tries to look innocent but he hasn't been able to shake off the smugness in his grin every time she arrives home from a date with So. And it's only been two dates.

"Nothing. I don't know anything. I think infatuation looks good on you."

She throws a magazine at his face and walks out his apartment.

* * *

"You're… not married, are you?"

So's eyes carry a genuine weight of surprise and Soo hides herself behind her hands as best as she can.

"No. I'm a happy bachelor enjoying a date."

He turns away from the painting he was admiring, all the other people in the gallery walking past them. He gently pries Soo's hands from her face, tilting his head in the kind way she liked.

"Why?"

"It's just…" She bites her lip, and she would bite her nails if he didn't have both of her hands in his. "You… Hang out with me so easily. I was wondering if there was a…"

"Catch? No. I'm not Hwangbo Wook."

Soo groans loudly, falling forward into his chest, and a few passersby turn to look at her.

"Why do you know about that? Did Baek Ah tell you?"

"That you were the girl Wook rejected at the entrance hall two years ago? I promise you not that many people know it's you and that I'll keep your secret."

She peers up at him. If it were any other person, she'd ask to leave, she'd avoid his calls, and she'd pretend they never went out just from the shame of being recognized as the _rejected girl_. But So only touches her hair, pats it back into place, adjusts her bangs, and leads her by the hand to a painting that he wanted her to see, that he thought she'd like.

She really does like it. Him.

* * *

She arrives at the sixth floor and each step that echoes in the hall almost gives her a heart attack. It's late enough that the floor is deserted, but So had asked her out to dinner and they were supposed to leave together. It's already way past the appointed time. Her stomach rumbles in the silence and she blushes deeply, hoping there really isn't anyone around to hear.

His secretary is not at his desk, and she feels bold enough to open the doors to his office.

Wang So has his arms on his desk and his head resting on them, soft breaths not making a sound in the night. Soo treads carefully, slowly, trying her best not to disturb him. Standing before his desk, she admires his sleeping face, his serenity, and wonders exactly how she came to date such a beautiful, thoughtful man. Even his voice speaking English, that she caught by accident a couple weeks prior, is enough to make her swoon.

She's so busy sighing over him that it takes her a few seconds to realize that his eyes are open and he's looking at her with an amused smile on his lips.

"Ah! Wang So-ssi! You were late, so I thought–"

"Come here, Soo."

He leans back in his chair and motions for her to come closer. Embarrassed, she walks around his desk and approaches his chair. When she's close enough, he moves his chair with his feet and circles his arms around her middle, his head coming to rest against her bosom. He could most certainly hear the frantic beating of her heart.

 _Forward! This is very forward!_

But he doesn't do anything obscene. His head only rests there, inhaling her perfume, listening to her heartbeat, his arms warming her middle, keeping her safely close.

"I've wanted to meet you for a very long time, Hae Soo."

"You have?"

She tries to relax in his touch, and in rush of bravery she reaches for his hair, running her fingers through the black silk like she's wanted to ever since their first date. If he were a cat, he might have purred. He only sighs.

"From the first time I saw you, I knew you were my type."

She wants to laugh. She never imagined being anyone's type.

"And what is that?"

"Sincere and honest."

He backs away a little, her hands lying on his shoulders, and he looks up at her like she's so much more than what she really is.

"You don't remember, do you?"

Soo frowns. Her mouth opens and closes.

"I'm… I'm sorry, I–"

Her stomach announces the time, loudly, and Soo half wants to die.

"We should go," he says, and doesn't give her a chance to do anything other than follow him as he stands up, puts on his jacket, takes her hand and leads her to the door.

"Ah, Soo."

He stops, his free hand on the doorknob, and only his head turns to her.

"Please call me So."

"O-Okay."

Despite being very hungry, she doesn't eat much that night. She feels as if her stomach is actually filled with clouds.

* * *

It comes to her when she's brushing her teeth, completely unprompted, after she's given up trying to remember it.

The sound of her bag falling to the ground echoed throughout the entrance hall. Wook's usual smile was gone, replaced by a neutral mask she couldn't read. Four dates. There had been four dates before she gathered up the courage to tell him the feelings building inside of her were real, and it all came crashing down in the seconds he told her he was married.

She threw everything she had in her hands at him. Binders, papers, designs she spent days on. She wished the weight of her work could crash on him, that it would make him regret toying with her, that he would be embarrassed to _death_ instead of her. But there was only so much she could do, so she picked up her bag, swirled around, and walked toward the exit.

She passed him by the glass doors. How long he had been standing there, watching, she didn't know. But their eyes met briefly, shocked ones falling on her tears, and then she was outside, running down the entrance steps, and catching the first cab that appeared. She came to regret it later, when whispers started to circulate the building. She had tried so hard to hide their relationship only to ruin it all in the end. No, _he_ had ruined it. She was only left to pick up the pieces.

Soo wants to call So, to send him a message, to do anything. But she does nothing, says nothing. She's mostly quiet the next day, and despite Baek Ah asking her several times if she's okay, she just nods and works.

She waits next to his office during lunchtime, looking out the tall windows of the building. He approaches her with a confused glint in his eyes, and when he's near, she embraces him, small arms wrapping around him, fingers laced together on his back. He looks around and there are people watching them; Soo had always been the one who wanted to be discreet.

"Soo? Are you okay? You–"

"Did you really start liking me on that day, two years ago?"

She tilts her head in a mirror of him. His eyes soften in recognition, hands moving to trace the flower hairpins on both sides of her head.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because you were brave and beautiful."

She smiles, her arms tightening around him.

"And you've wanted to meet me for the past two years."

"Yes."

"Why didn't you?"

"Because I'm not brave."

Her shoulders shake, the laughter slowly erupting from her core. He cups her face as she laughs, his thumbs tracing the rose of her cheeks, and he kisses her there, where everyone can see, with the sky as their witness. He swallows her laughter, makes it a part of him, and she closes her eyes, skipping a few steps, touching his tongue with hers, accepting and embracing the title of office couple.

She hopes Hwangbo Wook sees it and falls down the stairs in shock.

So tastes just as sweet as she thought he would, from the first moment their eyes met at that company party.

No.

He's sweeter.

The owner of the clouds inside of her.


	8. Don't Forget My Unstoppable Love

**Day 8:** "When You Knew."

* * *

She can feel all sets of eyes on her. She's haunted by them, more ghosts than court ladies, whispering behind her back like curses. She's not quite sure how she's supposed to help the king, to lead the Damiwon, when her voice cannot be heard over the gossip. _Fake it until you make it_ is what she tells herself when she stands with her back straight next to the others, and with the King's graces, she rises and rises to the top, a peak she falls from every night, on her pillow, on her self-doubt.

She finds herself tracing his hairpin every night, drawing strength from him, the prince she always looks for out the corner of her eye. Is he eating properly? Does he have nightmares where he kills his brother?

King Taejo once gave her to him, put her under his care. Or was it the other way around? Lady Oh took care of the king, dressed him, brushed his hair, and Soo makes sure the Damiwon accommodates King Hyejong to the best of her abilities, but there's still him. She strips him of his mask every day, and every day is like something new is found underneath. He looks at her with the longing of someone who spent ten years away, who must drink the sight of her in order to live. Soo tries to will her pulse into tranquility, focuses on the mechanics of her job, but every time she falls into his eyes, she remembers his proposal. _Let's get married_ , he had said. To marry in order to escape, in order to be free. She never thought of marrying young, but if she were ever to marry, she wanted it to be out of love. She doesn't know where her feelings are headed, but, from the start, the fourth prince had secured a place in her; she keeps his hairpin safe where she can see, where she can touch, nothing like forgotten words of pale sunlight.

 _Be bigger than their wildest rumors_ , he whispers next to her ear once, before vanishing like one of the apparitions of the Damiwon. She stares at the blur of his back, the imposing back of the wolf dog, his hair whipping back and forth like a tail. She's once held him in her arms, wiped away his tears, but every time he's the one who raises her up, higher than his own arms could carry.

So she is. The diligence of Lady Oh, the caring touches of Myung Hee. She's Woo Hee in the graceful execution of her duties, in the way she poses herself, and Park Soon Duk when she returns every scornful look with a detached, trained stare. Mostly, she's Hae Soo when she pours them tea, all the favorites she memorized a long time ago, smiling at the Crown Prince when he's feeling down and sick, clapping at Baek Ah when she spots him playing a song, and waving with both her hands when Eun visits.

"You seem happy," Wang So remarks. But if her happiness is a glow, then he's the moon reflecting it, every sharp corner of his face softer when he speaks, a lighthouse under his eyes that always guides her to him. It makes her think of him even when days pass without them seeing each other. Especially then.

"I am alive," she responds, standing taller than him, because she dares not be happy, not completely, not after all she's lost. He smiles and makes her desperately desire it, feeling the gap deep inside of her, where there was once the sense of belonging she felt at the eighth prince's home.

He takes her hand and she stands still, barely even breathing. She always forgets how warm he is.

"Will you join me when the king grants you leisure time from your duties?"

"If the king allows it," she answers carefully. Wang So's smile only widens.

"When the king allows it."

She doesn't take the hairpin out of its secure place, not yet. She worries for the consequences of her actions, Court Lady Oh's words still ringing true in her mind. What would happen if she were reckless? Would she doom Goryeo? Would she hurt more of her friends? Would she lead Wang So astray from his rightful place with his family? What would be worse? The damage done upon them or the damage done upon herself?

She rides with him hidden from everyone's sight. She's never learned how to properly ride a horse; from the very day Wang Geun pardoned her, she was wasn't meant to go anywhere. Except when So took her, when he stole her away, even in the brief moments when their eyes met.

Soo lets her feet touch the sea, the waves tickling her skin. Wang So sits on a rock, not touching her, not even watching her. Soo closes her eyes and breathes in the salt in the air, the breeze filling her clothes through every gap, in every movement she makes. She had loved it the first time, even despite the storm of feelings inside of her. The sea spoke to her. It called her home.

She allows the waters to touch the hem of her skirt and looks up at Wang So. She remembers seeing him in that exact position, looking at the palace from afar, wishing with all his heart to belong there. Now, he looks much more at ease, much more like himself in the wide blue, tranquility touching him up like her brushes, fixing him, fixing him bit by bit.

She laughs aloud when a wave catches her by surprise and So looks at her. He tilts his head to the side like he's trying to frame her in his mind, capture her forever in that moment. Soo briefly wonders if, could he paint like Baek Ah, would he paint her? Would he think of her like she thinks of him in the dead of night?

Back at the Damiwon, she touches the hanbok she wore, smelling the sea in the fabric, vowing to wash it with the least amount of fragrances so she could keep it forever. That day when he just let her be who she is; to every extent of his power, he lets her exist.

She brushes his hair carefully when she can, pretending it is her job as Senior Court Lady, memorizing the way it feels on her fingertips. She produces the exact color of foundation by looking at him and looking at him, as close as she can be. She admires the clothes he wears, the prince he is, whenever she catches a glimpse at him from afar. And when she pours him tea, when he specifically calls for her at the Damiwon, she pretends her heart isn't beating wildly in her chest, pretends that he's just one of the princes and she's just a court lady and nothing more, so she doesn't let on, so she doesn't tell the world all the little details of him, of her heart. With each passing day, with each moment of peace, she remembers more and more the moments she once shared with him, the man she used to bump into, the man who was only starting to clumsily learn how to be a man. He whispers words of encouragement and speaks aloud in teasing tones, always trying to make her speak, to make her respond. Always, always reaching out a hand to her.

She looks at the hairpin and she knows. She's dying to show it to him, to see the look on his face when she presents it to him. There's a smile he reserves only for her, and deep inside of her, there is a smile she reserves for him, too.

He wants to give her the world, her fourth prince. And she wants to protect him, protect the man she saw at the beach, who left death threats behind him, and now there is only the love.

Love.

 _Let's get married._

 _Come with me._

In those peaceful days, with the ground solid beneath her feet, with her hands touching precious things, Hae Soo knows.

She waits for him by her prayer stones, her smile on her lips.

The hairpin is both her heart and his.

 _Don't ever forget it._

* * *

Happy Moon Lovers anniversary week! Thank you for all your words of encouragement, for all your support, for all your love. May we stay together for one more year ❤


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